How is your marriage? Few people outside your best friend dare to ask that question. However, you should take the temperature of your relationship regularly if you want it to last.
If you feel like your relationship needs a renewed spark — or worse, if you find yourself starting to resent your partner — plan an intervention. It’s much more manageable to get back on track before you begin sniping at each other for every little thing.
1. Communicate Often
What’s your spouse’s favourite meal? What flowers make them smile, and what drives them crazy? If you can’t rattle off those answers like the back of your hand, then what you have here is a failure to communicate. That’s okay — as long as you take action to get back in touch.
There are times, though, when you need to hold your tongue, such as in the heat of anger. When you feel ready to explode, stop, and tell your partner that you need to take a step back before continuing the conversation. Give yourself time to think of how to express your needs assertively without being aggressive, and when you do return to the issue, listen to your partner as well as addressing your concerns.
2. Work On Your Issues
It doesn’t matter if you have healthy self-esteem, or if you feel like a walking luggage cart with all your baggage. Everyone has issues that they need to work on and areas to grow and improve. However, ignoring any problems you have can strain your marriage because they will impact the way you treat your spouse. If you’re stressed out about work slowing down in the wake of COVID-19, for instance, snapping at your partner out of stress without sharing the reason why could make them think that your feelings toward them have changed.
The dynamics of your relationship can change along with the social, emotional, financial and sexual factors in each partner’s individual life. If you have a higher sex drive than your partner and don’t address it, you could find infidelity tempting. If you behave with inappropriate anger stemming from childhood abuse that you never processed, it could destroy your otherwise-healthy present relationship.
3. Your Finances In Order
Financial disagreements are the number one cause of divorce, even more than infidelity. It’s not unusual for one partner to be more of a spendthrift. Maybe your relationship was smooth sailing before the pandemic, but when faced with a reduction in income, cracks started to appear. Remember, you and your spouse are united in the battle to survive in a chaotic world — work together to solve your money issues. You might feel embarrassed to reveal the full amount of debt you had or admit that you tapped into the mutual savings to attend happy hour. Lying about your behavior will only make the situation worse. Come clean, and make a plan to tackle money matters more openly, going forward.
4. Maintain Date Night
Did the recent pandemic put a dent in your date-night style? It’s understandable if you have children together — hiring a babysitter remains a risky proposition. Get a little creative. If your parents or in-laws can take the little ones and feel secure that no one is infected, take a much-needed getaway. If you don’t feel safe doing so just yet, make a romantic dinner after you put the kids to bed and scour the internet for future travel deals.
5. Create Mutual Goals
Many married couples refer to themselves as a unit but think about the sports world. Teams unite to conquer a mutual goal, like winning the World Series or the Superbowl. You and your spouse can do the same. Saving for your first home purchase together or starting a side hustle as a pair can bring you closer together.
6. Divvy Up The Housework
Despite strides toward quality, women continue to do the lioness’ share of the household chores. This unequal dynamic is unsustainable because the ultimate commodity is time — no matter how rich you are, you can’t pay someone to take a nap for you. As a result of the extra work they do, women experience higher stress levels, which can affect your partnership.
To combat the housework disparity, make a list of chores you need to complete weekly. Divvy them up between the two of you, and put a chart on the fridge that you can check off when you finish your tasks.
7. Sweat Together
Are you and your sweetie in a sexual slump because you both feel insecure about your bodies? Why not get to the gym together? Exercise releases endorphins, which make you feel good. When you feel better while doing an activity with your partner, you view them in a more positive light.
8. Perform Random Acts Of Love
When was the last time you held your beloved’s hand in public? If you fell out of the habit, bring it back to life. Find one way to make them smile each day. It may only consist of a text to say, “Hi, I’m thinking of you,” but it strengthens your bond.
Have A Healthier Marriage With These 8 Tips
If your marriage has lost its pep, you can get it back. Practice these eight tips to create the relationship of your dreams.